Why Do I Do This

I had a really good day, eating on points until 5pm! Then for some unknown reason, well OK not unknown, I have been thinking about my Dad alot today, I went on a junk food binge, anything and everything I could get my hands on! I am so disgusted with myself! I hate it when I do this! I know its part of the whole thing but I still hate it! I wish I had more control over myself! This may be a really difficult week, I am hoping not! Last week at school before the break and we are having secret santa week. I just PRAY my secret santa does not give me a bunch of junk food! We filled out questionaires about what we like, I put for snacks the 100 calorie packs and for drinks I put Tangerine Diet Rite. So hopefully my secret santa will pay attention to that and not get what ever they think is better! If I do get junk I may just give it to some of my kids! I obvisouly can not be trusted to have it in my house because one little week moment like tonight and I will eat it! GGGGRRRRR~!